Monday, 16 March 2009

March / April 2009 Page 2













*******************************

In Association with - Rendezvous – London

Hi Everybody,
Here is Page 2 of the March / April issue of the Ice & Fire eMag – this page seems to be aimed mainly at the men - what with Rugby, Politics and Business - BUT - I am sure many of us ladies would be delighted to join the 'lads' for an afternoon of rugby - Politics - well it affects all our daily lives - and Business - 'us ladies are doing it for ourselves' - our hearty congratulations to that great lady who has resurrected a branch of Woolworths now known as Wellworths. Brilliant. We wish you well !!
We hope you find an Event to enjoy.

My best wishes,
Sandra
NB – as usual if you have any friends / colleagues who you think would like to receive our eMag – please get them to contact us at – sandra@icefiremarketing.com


Edition/ 6 – March / April 2009
Page 2
___________________________________________________________

Topics –
Sport + Whisky = Rugby – Watch the Calcutta Cup Live at Boisdale of Belgravia, SW1 and participate in a wonderful lunch of champagne, superb food and Glenlivet whisky !!
Politics - The Bruges Group at the Foreign Press Association – The EU and the Credit Crunch
Antiques – The Chelsea Antiques Fair, Chelsea Town Hall, Kings Rd, SW3 - get your complimentary tickets now
Joke Corner – Time to tell a tale of our 'times' – There was a Young Man called – guess who ?? GORDON
Business – Networking in the City with Business Junction’s Luncheon at Cafe Spice Namaste - the award-winning Pan-Asian restaurant
Contemporary Circus – A Night at the Round House, NW1 – FREE to those under 26
Diary Notes – A reminder – not to forget the other great events in - March / April

- Corrigans / St Patrick's Day - 17.03.09.
http://www.bentleys.org/
- Sotheby's / Versace - 18.03.09.
http://www.sothebys.com/
- Brocket Hall - Celebrity Golf - 23.04.09.
http://www.rhysdanielstrust.org/events.html


*Please note events are by topic not date order unless otherwise given

Sport + Whisky = What a combination !!

Watch the Rugby Calcutta Cup live in the comfort of the Macdonald Bar at Boisdale of Belgravia.
A special Boisdale Event held in conjunction with Glenlivet Whisky – with champagne for starters - a great finale to the Six Nations Championship clash between England and Scotland.

Boisdale of Belgravia is situated in an elegant Regency town house, just north of Buckingham Palace Road and a short stroll from Victoria. Its bars, restaurants and private dining room are open on weekdays and Saturday evenings and offer a selection of menus to suit every budget.

The Boisdale Glenlivet Calcutta Cup
Saturday 21 March * Boisdale of Belgravia
This year the Calcutta Cup is going to be played at Twickenham stadium and shown live on the day at Boisdale of Belgravia in the Macdonald Bar. For the event Boisdale has teamed up with the outstanding Glenlivet whisky to host a congregation of rugby fans as well as test our guests rugby knowledge in the Expeditious Glenlivet Boisdale Rugby Quiz. Members; £36.50 Non Members: £55 Including a champagne reception, 3-course menu and three Glenlivet whiskies.
The Boisdale Glenlivet Calcutta Cup
Saturday 21 March * Boisdale of Belgravia
Members; £36.50 Non Members: £55 Including a champagne reception, 3-course menu and three Glenlivet whiskies
MENU Boisdale Champagne reception on arrival · The award-winning Lochcarnan hot-smoked salmon from the Isle of South Uist, horseradish potatoes & cucumber salad · UK’s Best Dishes 2006 award winning sausages & mash (made in our kitchens) served with good gravy · Sticky gingerbread pudding with ginger beer brandy sauce WHISKIES The Glenlivet 12 years old Exotic fruit possibly pineapple, honey, white peaches, apricots. Smooth & sweet. The Glenlivet 15 years old (French Oak) Fruit salad, short-bread, spice, toffee. Rich smooth & slightly oaky. The Glenlivet 18 years old Pears & orchard fruits, floral, complex. Oak, ginger, very elegant.
The Calcutta Cup is one of the oldest trophies still contested in international sport. The trophy is awarded to the winner of the annual Six Nations Championship clash between England and Scotland and commemorates one of the earliest international rugby matches ever played. This year the Calcutta Cup is going to be played at Twickenham stadium and shown live on the day at Boisdale of Belgravia in the Macdonald Bar. For the event we have teamed up with the outstanding Glenlivet whisky to host a congregation of rugby fans as well as test our guests’ rugby knowledge in the Expeditious Glenlivet Boisdale Rugby Quiz hosted by the host with the most, noted Quiz Master and Boisdale Operations Director Nathan Evans. The Quiz score sheets will be collected after pudding, answers revealed and results announced before the kick off at 3.30pm with the winner taking home a flight of Glenlivet whisky to include the 12, 15 (French Oak) and 18 year old. A hearty three-course lunch will be served in the Macdonald Bar specially fitted with a projector screen for this occasion. If you would like to attend the Boisdale Glenlivet Calcutta Cup luncheon, please contact Zoe Robinson on 020 7730 6922 (zoe@boisdale.co.uk). Prices: £36.50 for Members; £55 Non Members, including a champagne reception on arrival and a flight of three Glenlivet whiskies at the end of the meal. The luncheon starts at 12.30pm; kick off at 3.30pm.
Boisdale of Belgravia
15 Eccleston StreetBelgraviaSW1W 9LX
http://www.boisdale.co.uk/belgravia/

**********************************************

THE BRUGES GROUP
'The Bruges Group - an independent all-party think tank. Our independence is our strength allowing us to be free to follow our own policy agenda and put the national interest above party political consideration'

NEXT MEETING
The EU and the Credit CrunchWednesday, 18th March - 6.45pm for 7.00pm

THE SPEAKERS
RT HON. JOHN REDWOOD, MPTHE EU AND THE ECONOMIC CRISIS
Chairman of the Economic Competitiveness Policy Group

&

PROFESSOR TIM CONGDON, - WHY THE UK IS LUCKY TO BE OUTSIDE THE EUROZONE IN A CREDIT CRUNCH

One of Britain’s leading economic commentators RT HON. JOHN REDWOOD, MP,

John Redwood is Chairman of Conservatives Party Economic Competitiveness Policy Group. In May 1993 he was appointed Secretary of State for Wales. In 1995 he challenged John Major for the Conservative Party leadership.In opposition he has acted as Shadow Secretary of State for Trade and Industry (1997-1999) Shadow Secretary of State for the Environment, Transport and the Regions (1999-2000) and Shadow Secretary of State for Deregulation (2004-2005).He has written widely on Eurosceptic issues, free enterprise and democracy. His publications include; Our Currency Our Country, Stars and Strife: The coming conflict between Europe and America and The Death of Britain?PROFESSOR TIM CONGDON, CBEProfessor Tim Congdon is one of Britain’s leading economic commentators. He was a member of the Treasury Panel of Independent Forecasters (the so-called “wise men”) between 1992 and 1997, which advised the Chancellor of the Exchequer on economic policy. He founded Lombard Street Research, the City of London’s leading economic research and forecasting consultancy, in 1989. He is an honorary professor at Cardiff Business School and a visiting professor at Cass Business School. He has written a number of books on monetary policy, contributes widely to the financial press, and makes frequent radio and television appearances.Professor Condon is also the author of the Bruges Group paper, Will the EU’s Constitution Rescue its Currency?He was awarded the CBE for services to economic debate in 1997. Professor Congdon is a member of the Bruges Group’s Academic Advisory Council.
ADMISSION: £10 payable on the door or in advanceIncluding wine, orange juice, mineral water and nibbles
LOCATION: Foreign Press Association11 Carlton House Terrace, London SW1Y 5AJ
AGENDA: Lectures: 7.00pm – 8.00pmDiscussion: 8.00pm – 8.30pmWine and refreshments: 8.30pm – 10.00pm
********************************************

Antiques – Investment time !!!!

Penmans invite you to view "Tangible Assets to Appreciate" (and, we hope, buy)

THE CHELSEA ANTIQUES FAIR
Chelsea Old Town Hall
Kings Road
Chelsea SW3 5EE
March 25 – 29 2009
This is a boutique fair offering fine quality Furniture, Art and Artifacts from the past 5,000 years!
Times – 2 – 8 pm Wednesday 25th March
10.30 – 6 pm Thursday to Saturday
10.30 – 5.00 Sunday
FOR COMPLIMENTARY TICKETS GO TO –
http://www.penman-fairs.com/tickets.htm

****************************************************

Joke Corner – time to tell a tale of our ‘times’ !!!!

There was - A Young Man Called Gordon

A young man named Gordon bought a horse from an old farmer for £100.The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day, but when the farmer drove up he said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news... the horse is on my truck, but unfortunately he's dead.'Gordon replied, 'Well then, just give me my money back.'The farmer said, 'I can't do that, because I've spent it already.'Gordon said, 'OK then, we'll just unload the horse anyway.'The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'Gordon answered, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' To which the farmer exclaimed, 'Surely you can't raffle off a dead horse!' But Gordon, with a wicked smile on his face said, 'Of course I can, you watch me. I just won't bother to tell anybody that he's dead.'A month later the farmer met up with Gordon and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'Gordon said, 'I raffled him off, sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece, and made a huge, fat profit!!'Totally amazed, the farmer asked, 'Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the horse being dead?'To which Gordon replied, 'The only guy who found out about the horse being dead was the raffle winner when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his £2 raffle ticket money back plus an extra £200, which as you know is double the going rate for a horse, so he thought I was a great guy!!'Gordon grew up and eventually became the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and no matter how many times he lied, or how much money he stole from the British voters, as long as he gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them, unfortunately, still thought he was a great guy.The moral of this story is that, if you think Gordon is about to play fair and do something for the everyday people of the country for once in his miserable, lying life, think again my friend, because you'll be better off flogging a dead horse !!!!

What can I say ?????????

**************************************

Networking in the City and Around - with Business Junction -

Business Junction really helps you to put your company on the map, both in your local area and across London. We are fundamentally a member organization, getting to know each business member's priorities, specialisms and targets. We then try to ensure where possible we help deliver new opportunities and business in areas of interest to your company.

Business Junction Networking Lunch,
Aldgate
Cafe Spice Namaste
16 Prescot Street London E1 8AZ
Thursday March 19th 12.30 – 2.30pm

A networking lunch on the fringes of the City of London and a chance to enjoy menu samples courtesy of Cafe Spice Namaste, the award-winning Pan-Asian restaurant.The food here is brilliant, prepared under the watchful eye of Cyrus Todiwala MBE, a regular on Saturday Kitchen. Cyrus also runs a series of culinary master classes at the restaurant, along with other respected chefs teaching their own cuisine specialities. More details here: http://buzzcreator.net/clients/link.php?M=62754&N=228&L=187&F=H

The attendees at our event will be a spicy mix of City and City fringe companies, blending with a host of other businesses from the rich range across London. Our relaxed format - no speakers, no forced introductions, no limits on sectors - means you stand the best chance of meeting a crucial new client or referrer of new business.About this eventYou get a glass of wine or soft drink and a data sheet on arrival, a facilitor helps make introductions and the conversations are lively, fun, and easily made. You don't meet just one business per sector, so your options for referral and finding direct prospects and suppliers are unrivalled.Membership and event attendance open to any company regardless of area, size or sector. Guests always welcome.London Business SurveyTake part in the London Business Survey 2009! Business Junction, in association with Clarity, the survey company, have created a short survey that takes three minutes to complete in order to produce an accurate picture of what is happening to London companies during the current economic conditions and how Government - national and local - can best help.
To take part go to –
http://www.claritysurveys.net/clarityuknet/TakeSurvey.aspx?SurveyID=m8KJ8o2Booking this eventLunch costs £18 + VAT for members per person attending (more than one person per company can come). Guest rates are £32 +VAT per person. For further details contact:
sandra@icefiremarketing@aol.com
Or –
Call - 0207 739 4200 / email - admin@businessjunction.co.uk

BUSINESS JUNCTION Ltd, Back Building, 150 Curtain Road, London EC2A 3AR

******************************************************
A Night at the Circus - courtesy of the legendary –
Roundhouse
for those readers (friends or family) under 26 do take advantage of this

great offer -

Camden's Roundhouse has continually pushed boundaries in music and performance.
Today the Roundhouse is a space dedicated to nurturing creative young talent, as well as presenting an eclectic line up of the best in Live Music, Theatre, Dance and Circus.


Under 26? Want free theatre tickets?
It’s your lucky day! The Roundhouse is delighted to be a part of A Night Less Ordinary, Arts Council England’s scheme offering free theatre tickets to anyone under 26. This spring we’re offering tickets to see Tabu by award-winning circus troupe NoFit State, and Underdrome a new work by Darren Johnston in which dance, voices, music and video collide in a thrilling assault on the senses.What do I need to do?
It’s easy. Just decide what you’d like to see from the performances listed below. Then come to the box office and pick up your ticket (Mon-Sat, 11am-6pm). We’re on Chalk Farm Road, NW1 – really near Chalk Farm tube and only 10 minutes walk from Camden.You’ll need to bring some photo ID (a passport or young person’s railcard, for instance) and we’ll need some details about you – your name, address, phone number, email and date of birth. You can come along whenever you like, but if you’re coming on the day of performance make sure it’s at least half an hour before it starts.
Tabu from 29 March - 19 April Tues - Fri + Sun at 7.30pmSat 4, 11, 18 April at 2pm
For more information on Tabu go to -
http://www.roundhouse.org.uk/whats-on/productions/nofit-state-circus-2790
Conditions:
ID must be shown for everyone claiming a free ticket. ·
Only one ticket per person, per year.
Tickets are first-come, first-served and subject to availability. ·
A Night Less Ordinary free tickets are only available in person at the Roundhouse box office. Sorry, no online or phone booking.·
More shows will be added, so keep an eye on our website or sign up here and we’ll keep you up-to-date. ·
The scheme is for theatre and dance events only, not music gigs.
A Night Less Ordinary is an Arts Council England scheme in association with Metro, which will provide 618,000 free theatre tickets to anyone under 26 in more than 200 venues across England. For more information about the scheme visit http://www.anightlessordinary.org.uk/
Roundhouse
The Roundhouse, Chalk Farm RoadLondon NW1 8EH
T +44 0844 482 8008 F +44 020 7424 9992 Registered Charity No. 1071487
Box Officeboxoffice@roundhouse.org.ukT 0844 482 8008F 020 7424 9992
****************************************

If you have a great event which you would like to tell us about please email – sandra@icefiremarketing.com

Dear Reader - Please Note - If you cannot access a link just copy and paste into your browser. If you do not want to be a recipient of the Ice & Fire e-Mag and would like us to cease contacting you please email us at – sandra@icefiremarketing.com and you will be removed from our mailing list immediately.All endeavours are made to exclude viruses from our data transmissions and it is the obligation of the recipient to check for viruses. Ice & Fire therefore accepts no liability for any loss or damage caused by computer viruses. Sincerely, the Editor

Friday, 13 March 2009

March / April 2009 Page 1












***********************************

In Association with - Rendezvous – London

Hi Everybody,
Here is Page 1 of the March / April issue of the Ice & Fire eMag –
For new readers – the Ice & Fire eMag is an eclectic mix of events – generally in and around London – which progresses through the month as and when more Events of interest appear.
From avant-garde opera to politics, snow-boarding to salsa - diversity is the key - we hope you will find an Event to enjoy.

My best wishes,
Sandra

NB – as usual if you have any friends / colleagues who you think would like to receive our eMag – please get them to contact us at – sandra@icefiremarketing.com


Edition/ 6 – March / April 2009
Page 1
___________________________________________________________

Topics –
Auction – View and bid for items from the fabulous Gianni Versace
Collection at Sotheby’s, New Bond Street, W1
‘Sport’ + Party Time - Go Bowling and combine it with the new
Party Night at All Star Lanes, Brick Lane, E1
Art – The Affordable Art Fair, Battersea – Special Offer to readers on
price of Admission from Ice & Fire Marketing
Charity + Films = The Human Rights Watch Charity is holding its
International Film Festival Launch Night at The Ritzy, SW9
Joke Corner – American Court Quotes – courtesy of David Advani -
And we think our legal system has problems !!!
Restaurants - Celebrate St Patrick's Day with Richard Corrigan and the Hungary Grass Band at Bentley's Oyster Bar and Grill, W1
Charity + Art = Marie Curie Cancer Care meets Christies for a Private
View of their Spring Sale, SW1
Jazz/Big Band – The Pete Cater Big Band plays Buddy Rich at
Cadogan Hall, SW1
Diary Notes – i) A reminder – 23.04.09. Celebrity Golf to be held at
Brocket Hall in aid of the Rhys Daniels Trust – see
February/March issue Page 1 for details or contact us on
sandra@icefiremarketing.com
ii) Re – An open letter to Gordon Brown – if you wish to
vote on-line go to – http://www.katirai.com/

*Please note events are by topic not date order

Auction Time – At Sotheby’s

PAINTINGS, FURNITURE AND WORKS OF ART FROM THE COLLECTION OF GIANNI VERSACE – VILLA FONTANELLE, MOLTRASIO
Sale: L09761

VERSACE LA VITA – One of the most innovative couturiers of the modern age, the unique vision of Gianni Versace permeated every facet of his creative output – from fashion to theatre and interiors. His homes reflected the bold and glamorous world in which he orbited. Come view and/or bid for the contents of the Villa Fontanelle due for auction 18 March 2009 at Sotheby’s, 34 / 35 New Bond Street, London W1.

EXHIBITION DETAILS –
LOCATION
London, New Bond Street

VIEWING TIMES
Thu, 12 Mar 09, 9:00 AM – 4:30 PMFri, 13 Mar 09, 9:00 AM – 4:30 PMSun, 15 Mar 09, 12:00 PM – 5:00 PMMon, 16 Mar 09, 10:00 AM – 4:30 PMTue, 17 Mar 09, 9:00 AM – 4:30 PM
AUCTION DATE & TIME
Session 1: Wed, 18 Mar 09, 10:00 AM, Lots 1 – 250Session 2: Wed, 18 Mar 09, 2:00 PM, Lots 251 – 535

For further information go to –

http://www.sothebys.com/app/paddleReg/paddlereg.do?dispatch=eventDetails&event_id=29246

OR

tel: 020 7293 5000


Now for a slightly different type of ‘sport’ – why not go Bowling at All Star Lanes
All Star Lanes was founded by Mark von Westenholz and Adam Breeden who opened their first venue in Holborn in January 2006. Inspired by a passion for bowling and the changing-face of going out in London, boutique bowling was born – a marriage of bowling, cocktails, the finest diner cuisine and unforgettable music. All Star Lanes also offers the ultimate private room experience, a self-contained bowling alley complete with cocktail bar – the perfect venue for private parties, corporate events or just for the truly serious bowling aficionado.
Combine this with a new Party Night –
ALL STAR JUKEBOX PRESENTS…SATURDAY 21ST MARCH – LAUNCH PARTYALL STAR LANES, BRICK LANE8PM – 2AMTHE ULTIMATE BOWLING LANES + THE ULTIMATE PARTY = ULTIMATE FUN TIMES!A NEW PARTY NIGHT IS BORN
One of the best social nights out in London town just got a whole lot more exciting! The brand new All Star Lanes in Brick Lane are launching a new party night called All Star Jukebox Presents…. Not only can you dine on fine American food, sip delicious cocktails, and bowl at the coolest lanes in town, now you can party the night away courtesy of the man that brought you Guilty Pleasures, Sean Rowley, and friends.
Now fired up for some more serious party action.Saturday 21st March sees the launch for All Star Jukebox Presents… Every event will bring a different theme with a delectable selection of DJ’s. Chief curator Sean Rowley will programme the enviable line up for each night.The first party will be All Star Jukebox Presents: The Bad Taste Fancy Dress Party featuring Sean Rowley, and the Guilty Pleasures DJ’s. The music will be geared to the ultimate party – perfect to dance and indeed bowl to! Entrance is free if you book in advance to bowl and have a sit down meal in Luncheonette – if you don’t want to make a reservation then you can phone ahead for tickets at £7 each. Bowling is £8.50 per person and includes shoe hire – visithttp://www.allstarlanes.co.uk/ for menus
And for further information on the Bad Taste Fancy Dress Party –
Please call 020 7426 9200 or email bricklane@allstarlanes.co.uk

All Star Lanes, 95 Brick Lane, London E1 6QLThe Bowling Alley is part of the Old Truman Brewery, located on the corner of Quaker St. on Brick Lane.


***********************************
Art – The Affordable Art Fair is back
12.03.09. to 15.03.09.
and
Ice & Fire Marketing would like to offer you the following -
As a subscriber to our mailing list we would like to offer you free entry on Friday 13.03.09., or day tickets for £6 instead of £12 on Thursday 12th , plus Saturday and Sunday 14th/15th March. (Offer only valid on day tickets with a full price of £12). To redeem this offer, print off and present the details below at the ticket desk on-site of the fair.
The Affordable Art FairBattersea EvolutionBattersea ParkLondonSW11 4NJ
With spring comes the promise of new beginnings, longer days, warmer sunshine and the freshest, most friendly art fair in town.
Take a stroll in the park as the Affordable Art Fair returns to Battersea with its Spring Collection. 120 galleries will exhibit thousands of paintings, sculpture, photography and original prints – all priced under £3,000.
As a subscriber to our mailing list we would like to offer you free entry on Friday, or day tickets for £6 instead of £12 on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. (Offer only valid on day tickets with a full price of £12). To redeem this offer, present this page to the ticket desk at the fair.
Opening Times
Wednesday 11 Private View 5.30-9.30pmThursday 12 11.00am – 5.30pm Drinks Reception 5.30-9.30pmFriday 13 11.00am – 6.00pmSaturday 14 11.00am – 6.00pmSunday 15 11.00am – 6.00pm

No Place Like Home

Independent curator, Medeia Cohan-Petrolino, is creating an exciting show for the fair entrance. No Place Like Home will explore the theme of home, both as a physical place and as a sense of identity, comfort and even nationalism. All the work is produced by emerging artists who have graduated within the last five years – making it an exciting place to spot a potential star of the future.

Charity Private View

Be the first to see and buy the artwork, whilst enjoying complimentary drinks at the exclusive Charity Private View on Wednesday 11 March.
Tickets cost £25 each and are available directly from this fair’s beneficiary, the Army Benevolent Fund, which provides support to soldiers, former soldiers and their families in times of need. Call 020 7414 3321 to buy your tickets.

*************************************
We all believe in Human Rights – but not necessarily of those who contravene the law – however there are many instances throughout the world where there is abuse which mainly goes unpublicized – and this is the work of the Human Rights Watch to bring these terrible injustices to our attention – now in it’s thirteenth year Human Rights Watch invites us to the –


HRW International Film Festival
London 18 -27 March 2009

Please join Human Rights Watch for the Opening Night of our
International Film Festival at The Ritzy
Eden is West is a remarkable new film by renowned film maker Costa Gavras. Discussion with the film maker and reception will follow.Book Now: The Ritzy Picture House : 19 March 19.00.
Ritzy Picturehouse
Coldharbour Lane
London SW9
TO BOOK TICKETS
Telephone – 0871 704 2065 (9.30am – 8.30pm) or go to –
http://www.picturehouses.co.uk/cinema_home_date.aspx?venueId=ritz
For further information on HRW or their events visit –
http://www.hrw.org/en/iff/london


******************************************

Joke Corner –
And - We think our Legal System is bad ???
These quotes are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
_________________________


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
___________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
______________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
THINK ABOUT IT! MOST MEMBERS OF CONGRESS ARE LAWYERS - AND SO – UNFORTUNATELY - ARE MANY OF OUR GOVERNMENT !!!!!!!!!!!
**********************************
Celebrate St Patrick’s Day in Style -

Richard Corrigan to host a stylishSt. Patrick's Day Celebration

Guests of this exclusive occasion on Tuesday 17th March 2009 can make a day of it, enjoying the private Jameson Room from 12.30pm when the event kicks off with a Black Velvet reception, followed by a delicious Irish buffet lunch, traditional live music by Hungry Grass and a full cash bar open until late.Hungry Grass - a five-piece who play their own brand of energised Traditional Irish and original music, from fast and furious reels to soulful ballads with a strong emphasis on improvisation and spontaneityUp for the craic?Tickets to this event cost just £50 per person, and are available now. Please contact Jane Sturgess on 020 7758 4141 or email jane.sturgess@bentleys.org for further details and tickets.http://www.pomemailer.co.uk/1648586/530008708/73668136/831210/99539/0/t2.aspxT: +44 (0)20 7734 4756F: +44 (0)20 7758 4140E: reservations@bentleys.org11-15 Swallow Street, London, W1B 4DG
The Jameson Room at Bentley's is available for Private Dining & Events for 15-100 guests. All inclusive packages are available from £75 per person.

**************************************

Charity + Art = Marie Curie + Christies
Private View of the Spring Sale at Christie’s on behalf of
Marie Curie Cancer Care
This is a lively and atmospheric champagne and canapĂ© reception in the beautiful surroundings of Christie’s auction house
Christie's, founded in 1766 by James Christie, has conducted the greatest auctions of the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries, and today remains a popular showcase for the unique and the beautiful.
Each year, Marie Curie Cancer Care hosts a Private View of the spring sales at Christie’s, offering over 500 guests the exclusive opportunity to enjoy a champagne and canapĂ©s reception while viewing the beautiful items on display.
This much-anticipated event raises valuable funds annually for Marie Curie Cancer Care
Event Details -

Monday, 20 April 2009 6.30 - 8.30 pm

Christie’sLondonKing StreetSt. James’sSW1

Tickets - £40 and for further information contact Katie Arnold on -
tel: 020 7599 7308

******************************************
CADOGAN HALL

The Man From Planet Jazz

Monday 16 March, 20098pm
The unforgettable music of the legendary Buddy Rich
Pete Cater Pete Cater Big Band Programme to include: West Side Story medley Love for Sale Big Swing Face Willowcrest Norwegian Wood Goodbye Yesterday New Blues Legendary drummer/bandleader Buddy Rich (1917-1987) enjoyed global success with his fabulous big band from its inception in 1966 until his passing in 1987. Rich recorded some of the most memorable big band music of the time, and multi award winning British drummer Pete Cater returns to Cadogan Hall with his all-star big band for an evening which will feature the best remembered and frequently requested items from Rich’s repertoire.
Tickets*: £20, £15, £10
Please note:Online booking is only available up to midnight on the day prior to the performance. On the day bookings via telephone and counters sales only. *Note: Certain ticket prices are currently only available via telephone.
For further information go to - http://www.cadoganhall.com/index.php
Cadogan Hall -
******************************************
If you have a great event which you would like to tell us about please email – sandra@icefiremarketing.com
Dear Reader - Please Note - If you cannot access a link just copy and paste into your browser. If you do not want to be a recipient of the Ice & Fire e-Mag and would like us to cease contacting you please email us at – sandra@icefiremarketing.com and you will be removed from our mailing list immediately.All endeavours are made to exclude viruses from our data transmissions and it is the obligation of the recipient to check for viruses. Ice & Fire therefore accepts no liability for any loss or damage caused by computer viruses. Sincerely, the Editor